A moment with meaning
What is an ashes ceremony?
An ashes ceremony creates time and space to remember someone while their ashes are scattered, buried or placed somewhere meaningful.
It may take place soon after a funeral, following a direct cremation, or months or years later. There is no required format and no need for the occasion to feel formal unless that is what you want. It can involve family and friends, be something very small, or be a completely private ceremony for just you and me.
The ceremony can be brief and simple or include a fuller tribute. What matters is that it feels appropriate for the person being remembered and for you.
Different ways to say goodbye
Scattering, burial or interment
Ashes can be scattered in a favourite landscape, buried in a family grave or natural setting, or interred in a cemetery, churchyard or memorial site. Families may also divide ashes between more than one meaningful place.
Whatever you decide, I will help shape words and actions around the choice you have made. If permissions or arrangements are needed for a particular location, the landowner, venue or relevant authority can advise you before the ceremony.
Ideas and possibilities
Not sure what to do with the ashes?
You don't need to have everything decided before you contact me.
Sometimes the hardest part is simply knowing what the possibilities are. We can talk about the person you're remembering, the places and things that mattered to them, and what might feel meaningful to you.
An ashes ceremony might involve scattering ashes somewhere special, placing them in water, burying or interring them, transferring them into a different container, dividing them between meaningful places, or incorporating them into something more unusual.
For some people, that might mean a woodland, garden, beach, river or favourite viewpoint. For others it could involve planting something in their memory, using a biodegradable water urn or working with a specialist company to create something such as a memorial firework.
And it doesn't have to be elaborate. Sometimes the most meaningful choice is simply for one person and me to go somewhere that mattered, say a few carefully chosen words and scatter the ashes there.
Planning together
We begin with a conversation
I will listen to what you have in mind, learn about the person being remembered and help you decide what the occasion should feel like. We can meet in person, speak by phone or arrange a video call.
You may already know exactly where the ashes will go, or you may still be considering the possibilities. Either is fine. We can talk about whether anyone else will attend, who might like to speak, any words or music you want to include and how the final act should be introduced.
I will then write the ceremony and send it to you to read. You can make changes and add details so that the final version feels right for you and those taking part.
Making it personal
Words, memories and moments that belong
An ashes ceremony can include:
- A welcome and opening words
- The person’s story and memories
- Poetry, readings or spoken tributes
- Favourite or meaningful music
- A prayer, hymn or cultural tradition
- A period of quiet reflection
- The scattering, burial or interment of ashes
- Closing words and a final farewell
There is no need to include every element. I will help you create a natural order that suits the setting and the kind of ceremony you want - whether family and friends are joining you or it is simply you and me in a meaningful place.
Inclusive of every belief
A ceremony shaped around the person and your wishes
I work independently and welcome families of all beliefs and backgrounds. Your ashes ceremony may be entirely non-religious or include a prayer, hymn, blessing, reading or cultural tradition that holds meaning for you.
I am accredited by Humanists UK, but Humanism does not need to be the focus of the ceremony. My role is to listen, respect what matters to you and create an occasion that feels honest and appropriate.
Choosing the right place
Somewhere connected to the person or their story
The ceremony might take place in a garden, woodland, cemetery, churchyard, natural burial ground, at a memorial site or in another place with personal significance. It can also be held indoors before everyone moves outside for the ashes.
It doesn't have to be a formal venue. Sometimes the right place is simply somewhere that meant something to the two of you.
I am based in Hardwicke, Gloucester, and lead ashes ceremonies across Gloucester, Cheltenham, Stroud, the Forest of Dean, Monmouthshire and the wider South West.
Ashes ceremony fee
From £150
This includes a planning conversation, creating a personal ceremony for the scattering, burial or interment of ashes, making agreed amendments and leading the ceremony on the day.
Longer ceremonies, substantial travel, additional research or coordination, specialist suppliers or more complex arrangements may cost more. The exact fee will always be discussed and agreed with you in advance.
More unusual or fully arranged ceremonies can also be discussed and quoted individually.