A moment with meaning
What is an ashes ceremony?
An ashes ceremony creates time and space to remember someone while their ashes are scattered, buried or placed somewhere meaningful.
It may take place soon after a funeral, following a direct cremation, or months or years later. There is no required format and no need for the occasion to feel formal unless that is what you want.
Some families choose a small and private gathering. Others bring together people who could not attend the funeral or who would value another opportunity to share memories and say goodbye. The ceremony can be brief and simple or include a fuller tribute to the person and their life.
Different ways to say goodbye
Scattering, burial or interment
Ashes can be scattered in a favourite landscape, buried in a family grave or natural setting, or interred in a cemetery, churchyard or memorial site. Families may also divide ashes between more than one meaningful place.
Whatever you decide, I will help shape words and actions around the choice you have made. If permissions or arrangements are needed for a particular location, the landowner, venue or relevant authority can advise you before the ceremony.
Planning together
We begin with a conversation
I will listen to what you have in mind, learn about the person being remembered and help you decide what the occasion should feel like. We can meet in person, speak by phone or arrange a video call.
You may already know exactly where the ashes will go, or you may still be considering the possibilities. Either is fine. We can talk about who will attend, who might like to speak, any words or music you want to include and how the final act should be introduced.
I will then write the ceremony and send it to you to read. You can make changes and add details so that the final version feels right for you and those taking part.
Making it personal
Words, memories and moments that belong
An ashes ceremony can include:
- A welcome and opening words
- The person’s story and shared memories
- Poetry, readings or spoken tributes
- Favourite or meaningful music
- A prayer, hymn or cultural tradition
- A period of quiet reflection
- The scattering, burial or interment of ashes
- Closing words and a final farewell
There is no need to include every element. I will help you create a natural order that suits the setting, the number of people attending and the time you want to spend together.
Inclusive of every belief
A ceremony shaped around the person and your wishes
I work independently and welcome families of all beliefs and backgrounds. Your ashes ceremony may be entirely non-religious or include a prayer, hymn, blessing, reading or cultural tradition that holds meaning for you.
I am accredited by Humanists UK, but Humanism does not need to be the focus of the ceremony. My role is to listen, respect what matters to your family and create an occasion that feels honest and appropriate.
Choosing the right place
Somewhere connected to the person or their story
The ceremony might take place in a garden, woodland, cemetery, churchyard, natural burial ground, at a memorial site or in another place with personal significance. It can also be held indoors before everyone moves outside for the ashes.
I am based in Hardwicke, Gloucester, and lead ashes ceremonies across Gloucester, Cheltenham, Stroud, the Forest of Dean, Monmouthshire and the wider South West.